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Parenthood: Forging A New Partnership |
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Parenthood: Forging a New PartnershipDuring a telephone conversation, Reverend Derek Cromwell recently told me
that one could not be a great American without being a Christian because America
was founded as a Christian nation, by Christians, for Christians. The founding forefathers declared their
independence from a country that governed religious freedoms and expression, and
so birthed our great nation: a nation formed, established, and emancipated to be
a Christian nation. As I thought
about Reverend Cromwell’s assertion, I realized that there are more areas of
our lives in which we cannot exist or serve in greatness until we know the Lord
and have submitted to His great plan. Marriage
and parenthood, for example, were designed by God before He breathed life into
the lungs of creation. Marriage is
a covenant before the Lord, an ordained institution, and parenthood is a
monumental responsibility to which He entrusts us. The Scriptures make it clear that
children are gifts from God: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3). Today, the
importance of both parental roles is largely dismissed. Our culture has indoctrinated us to
believe that God’s standard of parenthood is no longer applicable. Mothers who stay home with their
children find that both their decision to do so and their work are not valued by
society. The feminist movement has
sought to “liberate” these women from working within their homes; possessing
such strengths as nurturing, teaching, and loving is considered weakness. These moms are often perceived as
lacking intellect, motivation, and ambition.
Worse, the role of the father is considered unimportant and altogether
unnecessary. In 1960, less than 8
million children were living in families where the father was absent. Today the number of children living in
father-absent homes stands at 24 million. Children
who grow up in father-absent homes are significantly more likely to do poorly on
almost any measure of child well-being. For
example, violent criminals are overwhelmingly males who grew up without fathers,
including 72 percent of adolescent murderers and 70 percent of long-term prison
inmates. Children living in
father-absent homes are also more likely to be suspended from school, or to drop
out; be treated for an emotional or behavioral problem; commit suicide as
adolescents; and be victims of child abuse or neglect (National Fatherhood
Initiative, www.fatherhood.org). “Hear, O
Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one!
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
and with all your strength. And
these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your
children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by
the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as
frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on
your gate” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). This
Old Testament passage of Scripture is under the heading, “The Greatest
Commandment” in my Bible and is referred to as the Shema. The Hebrew passage begins with the word
Shema, which means, “Hear.” Instruction
was considered as dear as life itself: “Hold on to instruction, do not let it
go; guard it will, for it is your life” (Proverbs 4:13). The Shema set
the pattern for how Israel was to instruct its children. It emphasized the importance of direct
moral instruction through conversation and the role of the home. The first general aim of education
focused on remembering Israel’s relationship with God and what God had done
for His people in the past. Israel
was God’s chosen people; so teaching each generation how God dealt with the
Hebrew nation was very important. A failure to remember would have meant a loss of
understanding Israel’s special relationship to God as a nation and a loss of
God’s blessings (The Church’s Educational Task, ICI University, 1999, pp.16,
17). The Hebrews
were called to be godly examples by word and deed. The Shema provides the central theme of
Deuteronomy. It sets a pattern that
helps us relate the Word of God to our daily life. We are to love God, think constantly
about His commandments, teach His commandments to our children, and live each
day by the guidelines in His Word. God
emphasized the importance of parents teaching the Bible to their children. Eternal truths are most effectively
learned in the living environment of a God-fearing home. The Hebrews were extremely successful at
making religion an integral part of life. The
reason for their success was that religious education was life-oriented, not
information-oriented. They used the
context of daily life to teach about God. The
key to teaching your children to love God is stated simply and clearly in these
verses. If you want your children to follow God, you must make God a
part of your everyday experiences. You
must teach your children diligently to see God in all aspects of life, not just
those that are church related. (The
Handbook of Bible Application, Tyndale House Publishers, 2000, p.445). In studying
the teaching example of the Hebrews, we realize that parents passed on more than
a spiritual knowledge to their children; they passed on a spiritual legacy. We, too, have that responsibility in teaching our own
children today. When we passively
fail to guide, instruct, and discipline our children, we actively lead them
along a destructive path of relativistic thinking, immorality, and agnosticism. Then, they lack the boundaries they need
for making sound decisions according to the will of God. When you consider this potential in light of the most
significant decisions your children will make (avoidance of or participation in
sexual promiscuity and experimentation with drugs and alcohol, choosing a
marriage partner, etc.) the benefit and impact of a religious education and
upbringing becomes clear. I was
expecting my fourth child when I received the Lord and committed my life to Him. Until then, parenthood had been “just work,” and as a
result, my life lacked purpose and fulfillment.
When my life was transformed by Jesus Christ, I desired the same for my
children: that they would come to know the Lord, commit their lives to Him, and
walk intimately in the fullness only He offers. Because every area of my life was touched by the Lord, my
parenting was deeply impacted; I was no longer simply a “worker;” I was a
“missionary,” daily on the field for Christ in the lives of my young
children, teaching them, training them, disciplining them, and loving them. According to Proverbs 22:6; “Train up a child in the way he
should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it,” God has called us
to take an active role in teaching our children.
In this day of formal teacher certification requirements, all of which
are government-imposed, we have dismissed parents’ God-given responsibilities
and qualifications to instruct their children, both educationally and
spiritually. As parents, that is
our responsibility. It’s a tall
order, one of great importance, but in fulfilling God’s call on our lives, we,
too, are passing on a spiritual legacy to our children. |
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